6 Common Boudoir Photography Myths

The first time you heard someone you know did a boudoir photoshoot you might have cringed a bit. Boudoir is very often in society held in the same regard as other "adult activities". We've been conditioned culturally and socially to find boudoir unacceptable, but I have some great news! All those "un-wholesome" things you heard are just another myth about boudoir photography sessions.

There are So Much Mystery and Myths Surrounding Boudoir Photography

Unfortunately, I can't really point you to one specific reason why that is. I'm sure it dates back to well before the beginning of the Moulin Rouge, but what's really shaped our view of boudoir is mainly religious. Cultural and social norms are so influenced by religious history, but maybe it's time we try and separate boudoir from that conversation and share what it really is.

It's No Myth that Boudoir Photography is About Empowerment and Self-Love

Even in today's society, as women, we struggle with being able to freely talk about and share ourselves. Boudoir is such an incredible expression of self-love and empowerment, everyone should do it! It's unfortunate that it is still so besmirched. Photographers such as myself even struggle everyday to carefully balance how we share our work on social media where censorship and banning is high on this topic (yup, Pinterest banned me once and Google constantly fights me on Ads images and text).

What this has ultimately led to is confusion and myths about what a boudoir photography session is, how much one costs, what the process is, and so much more. I'm writing this today to share with you just a few of the myths I hear all the time about boudoir photography and attempt to open a constructive dialogue with anyone on the fence about doing a session. Are you ready? Let's Go!

Myth: Boudoir Photography is Personal Pornography

Out of all the insane myths and narratives I hear about boudoir photos, this one is the most harmful and dangerous. Boudoir photos may be used as a gift to your partner who will hopefully love them, but there is nothing pornographic about what we create. The Oxford Classical Dictionary defines pornography as, "Printed or visual material containing explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings."

Nothing about what I do is designed to stimulate anything other than your own self-worth, self-love, and cherishment. But for the sake of argument, let's break down the differences between the two. Are we creating printed or visual materials, Yes. Is it of "sexual organs or activity", No. Even my clients who elect to get fully nude never have full frontal nudity on display.

My studio has a rule about boudoir that I do not work with couples engaging in anything past kissing. The line can get blurry about what is intimate and what is overtly sexual (both for my studio liability and for my own personal comfort level). Lastly, is the images we're creating designed to "stimulate erotic feelings", No. Pornography does that, boudoir is designed for aesthetic or emotional feelings. Think love, dedication, commitment. These are the feelings boudoir is intended to conjure. There's a very big difference here.

The pervasive myth that boudoir photography is akin to pornography not only harms legitimate photographers, but also victims of human trafficking. The images that I take are commissioned by each client and no one is ever asked to do anything outside of what they request and what they are comfortable with. Victims of human trafficking are coerced into so-called "modeling" but they cannot leave, have no say over how their images are used, and are not voluntary participants. If you are ever being pressured into doing intimate images, please recognize that that is not safe or healthy. These images should be a celebration of empowerment, and never a tool to be manipulated with.

Myth: I Should Hire a Boudoir Photographer who is the Same Gender as Me

At the end of the day, you need to choose a boudoir photographer that makes you feel comfortable and whose work you love, regardless of gender. There are some absolutely incredible photographers of all genders, and I would hate for you to miss out on working with one of them because of a feeling that you must go with someone of the same gender. Now, if you feel more comfortable working with someone of the same gender, that's great that you know what and I'm sure you'll get some stunning images. But what really matters is that you feel safe and seen during your shoot.

Many women have told me that they feel most comfortable with another woman. I've also had women tell me they don't care who is behind the camera as long as that person is professional and great at what they do. I know one specific male boudoir photographer who I've mentored that is so incredibly respectful and professional of the women he photographs. He is keenly aware of the concerns of working with a male boudoir photographers and actively works to make sure his clients are comfortable and feel safe in the studio.

Beautiful images happen during a boudoir photoshoot when we're able to connect with our clients. I often do that by discussing shared experiences, like parenthood, body image issues, and more (but those aren't gender specific). Look for the person and work that you love and listen to your intuition. Have a deep discussion with them about your concerns and even reach out to past clients (if you can) and ask them about their experience.

Myth: It's Weird to get Boudoir Photos if I Don't Have a Partner

I've mentioned already that boudoir is about empowerment and love. The deepest kind of love is self-love. While a lot of clients inquire with me initially because they'd like to create a gift for their partner, it ultimately ends up being a gift for themselves. There are many reasons why people want to do a boudoir shoot. Maybe you're someone who has made it through severe illness, recently learned how to love and accept yourself, or maybe you're reclaiming your sense of self after a separation. Maybe your reason is you just want some awesome photos of yourself! Whatever it is, it's valid and you don't need to justify your reasons to anyone except yourself.

At the end of the day, these photos are for you as much as they may (or may not) be for someone else. Maybe you want an album to keep on your shelf to look back on in the future, or maybe a beautiful piece of wall art you hang in the bathroom or closet where you can see it every morning and feel beautiful, strong, and empowered. You do not need to have a partner to get beautiful images of yourself. Give yourself permission to unapologetically get what you want.

Myth: I Need to be Naked For My Boudoir Photography Session

TL;DR: You can stay fully clothed the entire time.

One of my favorite boudoir photography sets is where a client is literally behind a wall of fabric and pushed into it to create abstract silhouettes (check out my post on Creative Boudoir Sets). You can do boudoir wearing a football jersey and ripped jeans (we've done that before too). Boudoir is whatever makes YOU feel good.

If you're someone who feels like your best self, being naked may be your thing. If not, that's great too. This is why we do planning sessions before your shoot. We'll figure out together what aesthetic you want and what you want to wear, or not wear. Heck, you may even decide part way through the shoot you want to strip it all off.

You'd be surprised how often clients start off fully covered and by the end as so into the shoot and are loving the images they want to try a few nude or implied nude photos. At the end of the day, if you don't like them, you don't have to buy them. They'll be deleted and never seen again (I take your personal privacy very seriously).

Myth: Boudoir Photography is Only for People Under 40

Um, No. Most of my clients fall within the 35-65 age range, and I've had clients up to 92 years in age. Age is a number, baby. There is no upper limit to who I'll work with. Now, you do have to be at least 18, but I can tell you from my own personal experience that I was filled with crippling self consciousness well into my 20s. It's only now, as I rapidly approach 40, that I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Myth: Boudoir Shoots are Only for People that are "In Shape" or Thin

Boudoir is for everybody, period.

Everybody means every body. Not just thin bodies, not just toned bodies, not just tanned bodies. Every body. What matters is how you feel about yourself. You are worthy of being captured through a lens of love because you are a miracle. You've survived everything life has thrown at you and deserve to have images that commemorate that.

My weight has fluctuated a good 30lbs the last few years (yay motherhood and perimenopause) and I have a photo of myself in the studio at my highest weight ever looking like an unstoppable goddess. It was hard to get out of my head for it, but I'm so grateful to have that image. Don't diet before your shoot, don't obsessively exercise, none of that please. Simply come as you are and I'll help guide you to some beautiful light and posing.

Now That We've Dispelled Those Boudoir Photography Myths, Let's Talk About Your Session

I'd love to have you come to my studio near Gainesville (North Central Florida) where we serve Florida boudoir clients all the way from Miami to the furthest end of the panhandle. Your session can be completely custom-designed and I'd love to help you design a shoot that you're excited about.

Boudoir is a beautiful experience in self love, and if you've never done a session for yourself, I'd encourage you to try one. You only get one body, fall in love with it! Like Moira from Schitt's Creek said, "in 20 years, it's not that dress you'll be missing!"